Shhhh…

Trigger Warning – Mention of Self Harm

Don’t ask, don’t tell how I felt,

Put up a smile and carry the weight,

And every night I crawl into bed,

I count the steps to the balcony edge,

Do the math of the fall and its impact,

What if I survive this time again,

And I gain nothing but more pain,

I am supposed to have different baskets for joy

I am losing them all and I dont know why

I am left with only a few

One of them is my therapist

And someday even he wont get through

Number of people who don’t love me anymore are much more higher

You see one basket is not enough to keep me here

The balcony seems a little closer everyday

The storm in my brain continues anyway

Some think I need all the attention

I feel they are right, I am hungry for validation

Everyone has issues, but I fuss about it

I dont care about people I am oblivious to it

The distance seems much smaller now

I have seen hatred in their eyes for my fat and ugly body

Again I am self pitying and this is why they call me moody

I should stop writing and get back to what I was doing

I am tired now and I should stop running

The balcony seems a little closer eveyday

The storm in my brain continues anyway

You see I am at peace this time

I don’t have to fight for what’s mine

Because there is noone to fight for

There is noone to listen anymore..