Trigger Warning: Mention of Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts

I saw a beautiful post on social media the other day, featuring an image of a building with captions on different windows — grieving the loss of a loved one, looking for a new job, recovering from a breakup, living alone, and many more poignant stories. We think we know people, but everyone around us is struggling with something. This is why we need to be kind to others; we never know what someone is going through. Yet, in the midst of all this, we are forgetting one essential thing: empathy and connection.

Last weekend, I was in Bengaluru for Manotsava, and it was an amazing experience. I was part of many important and much-needed conversations about mental health awareness, sexuality, intimacy, lived experiences, and so much more. I had the opportunity to meet incredible people in this space, and I was truly moved. I am extremely vocal when it comes to sharing my story of dealing with mental health issues and ongoing experiences. I shared openly in the forums there and appealed to the changemakers about what could be done to improve the challenges faced by those of us with lived experiences.

When I came back, something happened, and I started feeling empty again, followed by thoughts of self-harm and intense intrusive thoughts. The reason wasn’t just the incident itself, but the lack of connection I had quietly hoped would continue after the fest. I truly feel we have stopped connecting, not in terms of social media, but in genuinely talking to each other about how we feel and actively listening.

I shared my story with so many people, and we exchanged numbers and social media profiles, but once we all returned to our lives, the connections faded. After opening up so deeply, even speaking about the intensity of my struggles and the suicidal thoughts that sometimes surface with borderline personality disorder, I felt incredibly vulnerable. Yesterday, when I didn’t feel safe, I reached out to a few NGOs in Pune. The response was mostly to book a consultation, and there wasn’t much immediate support. In that moment, it was frightening to realise how close I felt to the edge. Somehow, I gathered what strength I had left and managed to pull myself back.

We are all extremely busy in our lives, and lonely too. Everyone is struggling, yet we refuse to talk to each other. Just imagine if each of us had even one person to talk to, someone who simply listens, without judgment, without interruptions, with kindness and empathy. I call it the “One for Each” technique. So, pick up the phone today and call your friend or someone you know who has been shutting down lately. Make plans to meet. If they don’t feel like meeting outside, ask if they’re okay with you visiting them at home. Listen with empathy. Don’t start sharing your own story while they’re sharing; it will shut them down. If they’re not reaching out or showing up to work, meetups, or if they keep cancelling plans, it may mean they’re giving up. Be the reason someone holds on to hope.

I heard somewhere the other day, “Hope is something we hold together, not alone.”

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Hope