Is this Love?

Is this love? I don’t know. But if it isn’t, then why do I seek closure?
I wait for him, though I wish I didn’t, longing for this pain to be over.

I manifested him while scrolling through my feed and saw his reel.
His content shining with expression, his eyes alive with zeal.
His smile caught my attention, his gestures displaying confidence.
Little did I know, this was just the start of feelings I couldn’t prevent.

From the moment I saw him, I knew I had to meet him; I couldn’t wait.
They say I’m stubborn, that I don’t listen—I pushed, and we went on a date.
It was a beautiful evening, etched in my memory to this day.
We met whenever he was in town, and I thought I’d gotten my way.

We’re casually dating, nothing serious, but I was lost in a fantasy.
One day, I went on a “casual” date with someone else—that’s when my heart faced reality.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him, his smile, the comfort I felt—it was surreal.
Over the next few days, I tried to define this feeling—anything but love—was it even real?
I couldn’t focus, for I wasn’t seeking love, so why had we even crossed paths?
Realizing I might be in love, I knew I had to tell him to clear my mind at last.

I picked up the phone and told him we needed to meet, I had something to say.
He’s sweet and sensitive—he is, after all, a mental health coach, always making sure I’m okay.
He urged me to share over the phone or write a letter, but I was determined—
Insisting we meet, that this was important, and couldn’t be ignored.
He said he’d be busy for the next two weeks and would see me after that.
It’s been a while since we spoke, how do I handle that?
I don’t want to feel this way about him, yet here I am, drowning in pain.

Is this love? I don’t know. But if it isn’t, then why do I seek closure?
I wait for him, though I wish I didn’t, longing for this pain to be over.

Each time I miss him, I recall the moment I first manifested him, whispering, “I love this guy.”
I wish I could rewind time, take back those words, and avoid feeling this way.

Is this love? I don’t know. But if it isn’t, then why do I seek closure?
I wait for him, though I wish I didn’t, longing for this pain to be over.